How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the

world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.


Why did the man cross the road?

He heard the chicken was a slut.


Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.


Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one

egg?

They won't stop and ask for directions.


How does a man show that he is planning for the

future?

He buys two cases of beer.


What is the difference between men and government

bonds?

The bonds eventually will mature.


Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them.


How many men does it take to change a roll of

toilet paper?

We don't know; it has never happened.


Why is it difficult to find men who are

sensitive, caring, and good looking?

They all already have boyfriends.


What do you call a woman who knows where her

husband is every night?

A widow.


When do you care for a man's company?

When he owns it.


Why are married women usually heavier than single

women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge

and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in the bed

and go to the fridge.


How do you get a man to do sit-ups?

Tape the remote control between his toes.


What did God say after creating man?

"I must be able to do better than THAT!"


What did God say after creating Eve?

"Practice makes perfect"


What is the one thing that all men at singles

bars have in common?

They're all married.


Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so

beautiful?" God says, "So you would love her"

"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so

dumb?" God says, "So she would love you"

 

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Updated 7/14/2006